When I am down, I have a few pick-me-up solutions: shopping, cathartic writing (Oh Lord, do you know about this one!), shopping, you tubing 'baby laughing' (this one always works), shopping, and getting drunk on cheap pub wine with my good friend Miss Soho Square, Irish script-writer, an activity which we are expert at and that usually ends up in pretty messy ways (lately chain-smoking and sleeping on a sofa in the office of the production company she works for on Soho square... of the use of baby wipes in the morning!).
And shopping.
Sadly, you-tube is barred from my company's network, so I had to go to extra lengths to find a new internet fix at work. It is easier than you would think though, you just have to look through your spam... The only thing you must remember is, however tempting, do not open the emails, you never know what they might contain! Recently, I have been getting more and more spam emails from... myself. Emails entitled 'make your penis larger' (really?), 'you need casual sex' (that I won't deny!) and today, this one that blew my mind and almost made me break the cardinal opening rule: 'Do you know yourself?'. From me to me, I wondered one second if maybe I had had a schyzophrenic episode without noticing it.
Shopping it was to be this time, because Miss Soho Square is back in Dublin, I am back to a non-drinking try-out (which, you have understood, never lasts more than 48 hours... scary as it is to think I could count my non-drinking days this year on both hands), and my spam messed around with me today.
However, pick-up shopping can be a pretty schizophrenic experience of its own: you want to please yourself and end up struggling to fit your big fat ass in the tightest pair of jeans in the world, jeans that will not close, or will rip if you manage to press this waistband snap button with enough thumb strength. I am not mentioning the revelatory power of fitting rooms, you know as well as I do that the mirror in there will speak to you in a worst tone than the oracle annoucing to Oedipus he would kill his father and spouse his mother.
You will think: the solution if you are depressed, feel fat, and cannot drown your sorrows in wine, is to go shoe-shopping. After all, shoes always fit. No fight with yourself... No fight that is, until you remember that it is the beginning of the month and you are already living on your overdraft.
What is the solution then, do you think to yourself, holding you head in your hands and plunging your home-manucured nails in your temples in dismay. Oh the dangerous dismay of the fashionista who doesn't have money to go shopping! You have to agree, there are not much deeper abysms of anxiety we might reach.
That is when good fashion blogs and good fashion networking becomes indispensable: otherwise you might never hear of secret samples sales. Here is one that you should not miss if you want to go on a jolly and cheering guilt-free accessory shopping spree: The London Accessory Sale, in Chelsea Town Hall on King's Road. It is produced in association with The Secret Sample Sale, it runs from Thursday to Saturday this week, and it is a Gold mine if you have lots of shoes to fill under the Christmas tree... or if you need a pair to add under the tree for Santa's attention.
If this doesn't work out, however desperate, no foolish ex-lover texting: can you just imagine if no answer comes? That would be a total bummer.
http://www.londonaccessorysale.co.uk/
Champagnista V
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